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Tenshi Emulates Horace

 
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:11 am    Post subject: Tenshi Emulates Horace Reply with quote

Subtitle: And badly...

As per Asa's suggestion, and mostly for Asa and Britland's interest, I think... my attempt at emulating Horace.

(Pseudo-Sapphic stanzas. The first is one line too long (it should be four lines), and the second's final line is in the wrong meter. Still, I like writing in Sapphic Stanza. It's not dissimilar from my own style, honestly.)
Quote:
Few traits are admired, as are those night reveals.
Soft marble-stone skin the western deserts envy,
The shining eyes that Luna, jealous, covets,
Delight in these, the minutes stolen by dawn.
I recall them all.


Quote:
Great cups, wine brimmed, flow them unendingly to
my path. Let only warm wind or calm sky be
high above. For few are the days peace comes home. Each
day should be adored, and never rushed out.


(Here are some Alcaic Stanzas, found in Horace's Book 1. These weren't as easy, but once I picked up on his tone, it didn't seem too bad.)
Quote:
If you should grieve, do so soft and easily.
If you should love, be it vibrant and joyous!
If death should summon, be it briefly.
Live gladly, owe little, but laugh often.
For life is fleeting, time slips ever onward.
Moments should be kept dear, never lost among
friends, for events do not last, and time flows.
Rare are shadows ever thought of again.


(Asclepiad Meter, admittedly a bit butchered.)
Quote:
Whom should I plea with, what deity would hold power?
Lone, their rightousness; No clear limit about them.
Or exhalted their name, lamented their fury.
To ensnare evils who bite at your heels as you
flee. Whisper soft, whisper careful. The ear that hears
may lend tragic a fate. Let the warm light of stars
be your guide. With them, may voyages of less peril
be your fate. There are no names left to invoke.
Wine, fortune, and much joy or leisure be your path.


Overall they're just so staggered. There's no real rhythm to them, no flow. I know a lot of that is just that it's ridiculously hard for my English-tempered brain to continue a sentence through more than one line, whereas the Greeks and Romans often continued a sentence through more than one stanza. I could, with some polishing, make a proper go at a Sapphic Stanza. I may revisit this over spring break, but my backlogged leisure time leaves little room for promises. I've not even sent out mail I've needed to send for a month. @_@
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. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3532
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 2:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very interesting. A lot of the difficulty you faced probably stems from the different characteristics of English and Latin - Latin had very free word order, for example, which meant that Horace could move words around however he needed to make the meter work. English has a much more fixed word order, which means you have to be a lot more creative with your syntax to make it work.

Your subject matter certainly rings true. I wouldn't be surprised to find those in some classic work.

Very interesting exercise, thank you for sharing it with us!
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BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
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Think but this and all is mended...
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 3:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asa wrote:
Very interesting. A lot of the difficulty you faced probably stems from the different characteristics of English and Latin - Latin had very free word order, for example, which meant that Horace could move words around however he needed to make the meter work. English has a much more fixed word order, which means you have to be a lot more creative with your syntax to make it work.


Having really begun to pick up other languages, I realize just how incredibly true this is. In a Latin language such as French, there are about five ways to ask the same question. I would write it out, but the nuances are lost even in translation back to English.
_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Round two! Both 20 minutes before the deadline (up from 5 seconds) and far, far more natural feeling.

This part of the project was to respond to what someone else had written "in character". I was assigned Archilochus, and... I actually can't post here (in a PG-13 forum) what they wrote. It's pretty much a raunchy, raunchy lust letter. It would make Ovid blush (I think like two of you will get that). That said, I did some research on Archilochus and found the man to be a bit... bursque. However, a couple of gems caught my eye, and so I referenced them as well as some of the lines from the piece I was given. I referenced Fragment 29:

Quote:
29 Miserable with desire
I lie lifeless,
my bones shot through
with thorny anguish
sent by the gods.


Anyhow, without further ado, here's the second round. I just like these so, so much better.

(Trochaic Strophe: 7, 11 - as in II.XVIII)
Code:
- v - x | - v x |
- v - x | - v - x | - v x |

Quote:
Archilochus, you were the
very same one claiming to lie lifeless, and
miserable with desire!
Gods gave you anguish, left thorns through your bones, yet
now you speak of some woman
who has you seeking a nearby bed! Patience,
dear friend Archilochus, lest
your heart truly does cloud your oft clear vision.
Be wary of Venus, who
set beauty on your lady's face. Mind also
Cupid, Venus' son, who has
struck at your heart as surely as foreign steel.


(Sapphic Stanza, used often)
Code:
- v - | x | - u u - | u - -
- v - | x | - u u - | u - -
- v - | x | - u u - | u - -
- u u - u

Quote:
My friend Archilochus, patience! Though you say
bold action grants good paths through life, forget not
what you next put to verse: When faced with the
wickedness of things,
it is the timid girl that shivers. So test
this would-be lover, the soft skinned sister,
be unforgiving of what doesn't suit you.
Flowers make poor brides.


(Iambic, as seen in the Epistles, among other places)
Code:
x - u - | x - u - | x - u -

Quote:
Few poets can capture what you can, fewer still
command such vivid thought with so little verse.
Archilochus, your gift could come from no other
source than the Muses! So ignore any ill words,
forsake any who would distract your clever wit.
There's little use in the pampered life many
poets lead. Even Ceasar, high among the vast
stars, won his life with no small amount of struggle.
You, who lived by sword and verse alike, give praise
to Zeus through his daughters, and to Enyalios
with other hand. As you have said, there are none who
have privilege on the battlefield. Perhaps one
does, gifted by plentiful gods. Perhaps, you are.

_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3532
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 6:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool stuff. Wish I'd had assignments like this in my Creative Writing course in undergrad... instead of Rap as Art analyses. >_<
_________________
Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
__________________
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
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