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Poetry Corner!
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2008 11:29 pm    Post subject: Poetry Corner! Reply with quote

Alright, here's the skinny on this thread! Here's a bit thread for all of our poetry needs, unless you want to do your own thread (which is perfectly allowed). I, personally, don't critique others' works, but I greatly enjoy reading them all. Anyhow, just a thought.

Here's one to kick it off, I use this (rarely) as an away message.
"Descend" © Matthew Mullins 02/11/08
Fingertips brush 'cross panes of cold glass
Breaking the silence with soft taps as they pass
Beyond perfect cages lay the warmth that I crave
Rather stop here and remember than try to be brave

My heart would be in pieces were enough left to break
My love to you a memory I would much rather forsake
You were perfect in every way I could ever have thought
I never saw it coming, the suffering you've brought

I scream and I scream at this frozen place
Memories remind me of candles dancing 'cross your face
My voice becomes a whisper of a soul never to rest
I'd weep and I'd crumble but I can't fail this test...

Fingertips clutch tightly to palms made of ice
I'm a frozen stranger of these things made to entice
Emotions will never overcome me as I'm nearing the end
From the steps of this hallway, calmly I descend

_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 7:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just for kicks and giggles: The crappy ponce piece of doom!


A desperate victim chained to Hate,
It's weak heart slows as cold Death knocks.
A mocking voice that guards Hell’s gate,
It's heart is cruel that keeps Death’s box.

Screams of terror, wails of fright,
Coming from a vapor grey,
Coming from Land of Sleepless Night,
Where evil lurks, and shadows stray.

It's stealthy footsteps lead the way
To carefree mortals, It's arch foes.
It breaks the merry, destroys the gay,
And brings destruction er It goes.

A burdened soul that cannot rest,
A mind, once blithe, now grown insane.
Unending travel for hopeless quest,
A creeping malice, we call Pain.

A cutting voice is whispering words
In quiet, still attack.
'You are lost, bound with cords,
You can never go back.'

But deep inside your secret thoughts
That without hope will die,
You know that you can break the knots
And go home, if you try.



THE TRUTH ABOUT A LIE
A heart beat stops, a warmth goes cold,
A light goes out, a life is sold.

Closer and closer the enemy closes in
Around its tiny, helpless victim.

An innocent child, killed by hate.
When she wants to change, it will be too late.

He is pushed aside, without a glance,
Without a thought, without a chance.

Crimson blood is spilt and in the end,
One heart beat stops, but two souls are dead.
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1389
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anonymous Hero.

I am the one who fights and dies,
Yet never marks a grave.
I am the one whose heart snuffs out
From the promise of the brave.
I am the one who stays alive,
Yet never makes it home.
I am the one who cries in the night
And carries my burden alone.
We are all the voices you will never get to hear.
The ones who fight for what they believe and never show their fear.

And, on a slightly happier note;

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit's Haiku Time!

I like writing these
They give the illusion that
I’m intelligent!

* * *

Cherry blossom floats
Down to the ground where I lie
As if in a dream.

* * *

Tiny bonsai leaves
Fall softly to bonsai street
Swept by bonsai man.
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He who does not eat cheese will go mad. ~ French proverb.

Keeper of the fallen leaves. 'Cos they're still pretty.
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it! 'Specially Anonymous Hero and Bonsai!
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1389
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks! I've never shown anyone my pitiful poetry before, so it's a bit of a boost to know you like it ^_^
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He who does not eat cheese will go mad. ~ French proverb.

Keeper of the fallen leaves. 'Cos they're still pretty.
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Splendid! We're in the same boat then. The crap above I wrote a year or two ago, and I've never shown it to anyone.

You've got a knack, I think, though. Very Happy
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 3538
Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can give some constructive criticism if you like.
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Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
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Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, you two certainly write better poetry than I do - I'm incapable of writing anything that rhymes.

Ponce, your first one sounds like a riddle almost.
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 12:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asa: Critique me! I'm ready--although bear in mind that's my first attempt and it's from years ago.

Nu: Who knows, it may be a riddle. I have no clue what I wrote. >>;;
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Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2141
Location: England

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Silent in broken rhythm and rhyme;
Her prophetic thoughts of distant time;

Words running into words;
Line after line;
Bleeding lips spitting death-blessed wine;

Fire flashing through the night;
Wings burning with life’s last light;
Your body’s curled up next to me;
Your mind is soaring, far from free;

Here’s a nest of broken metals;
Lined with little plastic petals;
Her twisting limbs are splashing blood;
Her heart beats out its final thud;

Those eyes of slate grey dulled forever;
Pulsing veins can’t pump through leather;
Deadly needles clenched in fists;
Trying to part time’s final mists;

Your feet are wresting on cracked Earth;
Freed forever from sleeping mirth;

~*~

Heh, wrote that'n a long time ago now.
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We stroll along the roof of hell
Gazing at flowers.
- Issa
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Dark Mirf



Joined: 22 Apr 2008
Posts: 297

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, you guys are good! my poems are craps (but I've been told elsewise, lies.. all lies, I tell you!). I stopped writing poetry long time ago, I dont know why. I think I kind of dried up.

Heres a old one, but a favorite of mine! Inspired by The Last Unicorn. Enjoy!

The Last

From the sky, I saw the last go
Into the shadow of the forest
And the sun continued to glow
With the white moon in harvest
As if they never existed.

From the tower, I saw the last go
Over the white mountains high
With its pinnacles of snow
And all the king's horses neighed
And grazed as if it never existed.

Beyond the sea, I saw the last go
Into the deep sparkling water
And under where the winds blow
As the moon fell to its slaughter;
Forgetting as if they never existed.

Upon the mountain, I saw the last go
Burning into the flaming west
And there flies the black crow
Signifying the death of the beast,
Cawing as if they never existed.

Then the world slept as the last
Faded away in the glimmer of the dawn.
Now the time has come to pass
And the age of myth has gone,
Though as if they never existed.
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 1:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think no matter how self concious a writer is, they still want to write and share their work. After all, that's what writing is about, I think...the need to express oneself.

That said, I adore reading your guys' works! I think they're all so awesome, and even moreso because...it's different from my style. I love hearing something new, learning someone else's viewpoint! Even just reading something new is fascinating and refreshing to me. That's why I tend not to review other people's stuff, because...I tend to gush. Embarassed

@AsA: Feel free to critique mine, if you'd like. I can always use constructive criticism. Bear in mind that what I posted was written at 2AM, trying in a fit of emotion to find an away message that fit with my current mood. So, it probably isn't perfectly, technically, correct. Wink

Another one, to keep the thread a-rollin'

A bit of backstory here, this one was written sort of as a message TO the best friend who I had just had a fight with. She and I have an interesting relationship, in that we're such good friends we tend to blur the lines of "friendship" and "relationship" a bit too often. Not physically, mind. Sometimes when that line's been blurred a bit too long, and she or I realize it, we tend to blow up at one another out of frustration that the rest of our lives aren't sufficient.

I can't explain how the relationship works without it sounding bad to me, but it's not a physical thing, at any rate. Here's the piece:

Withdraw
Matthew Mullins 03/08/08
You don't have the energy to spend
And I've got nothing left to defend
Seeing your face, even hearing your voice
Makes it all feel like this pain is my choice

This isn't how my life was supposed to be
Happiness and wealth as far as we could see
Something derailed everything I struggled to make
And your venomous words are something I can't take

Pack up your arrogance and take back your lies
I should have seen the deception within your eyes
A promise to be there no matter the hour
It never takes long for that promise to sour

So leave this place and leave me again in peace
Without you or anybody I find my own release
Unhealthy and destructive and so painfully good
I knew I wouldn't keep living, but then I never could

This hollow so familiar it's warmth against ice
I'm trapped in the embrace, such a welcome device
Withdrawn and so quiet no one reaches within
I'm begging, I'm pleading, but find only this sin...

_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 7:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm going to have to agree wholeheartedly with Tenshi. It's wonderful just to read the startling diversity between one person and another. I love everyone's entries! (Except my own, but hey. Wink )

Hmm...just to 'keep the thread rollin' I'll post this one. I wrote it soooo long ago, I found it in my old diary. Shocked


There is a ship:

There is a strange and secret ship;
She will set sail at dawn.
As soon as light creeps o’er the hills,
The ship to sea is drawn

Her masts are shrouded in a mist,
That hangs upon the air.
Her sails are torn and flutter
On a wind that breathes despair

No matter when she leaves the harbor
One thing that I have learned,
When night has lifted its dark cloak
The ship will have returned.

Every time she fled her shores
I wondered where she’d go,
But never did my mind conceive,
Though it did long to know.

Until there came a night so cold:
I wandered from my bed,
My feet led me to that white ship;
All warmth and calm then fled:

A maiden stood there on her decks,
All dressed in veils of gray.
Her ashen hands grasped at a box:
My name there on engraved.

I gaze upon a secret ship;
She will set sail at dawn.
My soul; it lies inside her box,
Going...going...gone.
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1389
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ooh, shivers Ponce! Beautiful imagery and a wonderful concept.
_________________
He who does not eat cheese will go mad. ~ French proverb.

Keeper of the fallen leaves. 'Cos they're still pretty.
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 8:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks! ^^
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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