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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Say what? Ooh, connection breaking up...er...my glasses shattered inexplicable...can't see what you typed...er...yeah...

I hate this one.

THE SEA OF OTHER WORLDS
It lays serene and peaceful, content with what surrounds,
Leaves alone the pond so lazy, and the river quick that swirls,
Flowing steadily, where it will, not knowing any bounds.
Thus is described the waters deep, a sea of other worlds.

It slips past inhabited towns, surveys the deeds of men,
By scorching deserts filled with sand where nothing lives or grows,
Spies the hare munching grass, the fox in its dark den,
And gets to see mysterious places, the lands which no man knows.

The sea, so smooth and silver-grey, so large a briny mass,
That carries ships all veiled in white, from havens pale and gray,
The ocean, full of mystery enchanting all that pass
That takes, never to return, fair peoples far away,

It goes on, forever on into eternity.
Pick up thy feet, my trusty friend, and thou shalt with me go
To follow on, forever on, the path of yonder sea.
Where does it lead? Till I arrive, that I shall never know.
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ponce, that's totally full of win. It reminds me of the story progression thing I was thinking about recently.

And I love water... you get another !
_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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unimportant



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 566
Location: Right behind you.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really like your imagery, Ponce, and your storytelling!

This was an English final, a sort of copy-cat version of "Terrible Weather Conditions" by John Engman, and i was pleased how it turned out. It follows the format pretty close of the original, but I tried to paint a different tone, change it from dark to hopeful, sort of independent. One of the only poems I've written with personal emotions so much at the forefront, I'm usually just a happy-go-lucky, Silverstien type poet.

Anywho, here it is. This format doesn't allow for indentations, so those're missing.

Beautiful Weather Conditions by Fable Hill
A grateful mimicry of Terrible Weather Conditions, by John Engman

Am I prosperous?
Do all the flowers bud now because I can afford them?
Am I dreaming? Thinking I can afford the buds of flowers?
Am I loved? Soft showers are coming, like liquid contentment.

But am I content?
The sky is clear and bright and each night it has rained for three days.
Three days, mirroring emotions that come and go.
I will call these beautiful weather conditions.

Quiet storms, bright nights, white sky, sun and moon come closer.
I can love anything when it is spring.
Last night I listened to the rain and
I thought I felt the earth tremble and draw still

and ease into the brilliant nothing between moments.
Sometimes, I want to believe that I am beautiful,
One who can say beautiful things. “The rain kept me
awake, trying to count each infinite drop and hearing you,

a soft voice from the rain.” But I know myself and you, and
I can only ask “Do you like the spring rain?
Have you heard it on your roof at night? And I am thinking about you.
That’s all.”

I don’t think of someday, when I will
be nothing but a rain washed, sun faded memory. Will you know then?
Will you be a voice in the warm rain? Will the weather be beautiful?

There’s a hole in my umbrella, a hole in my red boot,
my arms are bare, but in sunlight the rain is gone, and it’s sunlight that peeps through.
Someone should be told about this. Everyone should stare
up at the sun, and tell someone of it, as I do now.
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys! Fable, I love it!

This is my fave though -


There is a strange and secret ship;
She will set sail at dawn.
As soon as light creeps o’er the hills,
The ship to sea is drawn

Her masts are shrouded in a mist,
That hangs upon the air.
Her sails are torn and flutter
On a wind that breathes despair

No matter when she leaves the harbor
One thing that I have learned,
When night has lifted its dark cloak
The ship will have returned.

Every time she fled her shores
I wondered where she’d go,
But never did my mind conceive,
Though it did long to know.

Until there came a night so cold:
I wandered from my bed,
My feet led me to that white ship;
All warmth and calm then fled:

A maiden stood there on her decks,
All dressed in veils of gray.
Her ashen hands grasped at a box:
My name there on engraved.

I gaze upon a secret ship;
She will set sail at dawn.
My soul; it lies inside her box,
Going...going...gone
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I want to watch Pirates of the Carribean now... Mad

Your visual imagery is stunning.
_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fable, that poem is absolutely beautiful, as is your imagery Ponce. You're all amazing poets, whether you acknowledge it or not.
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Writing is like an addiction. Once you get started, you can't stop yourself... more stuff, a quick one before work. This one wasn't done so much to music, it's a more traditional poem (to me, anyway). As always, critique and criticism welcome..as well as spelling corrections :sweatdrop:

"Eyes Fixed Ahead"
Matthew Mullins 06/09/08

Willing my strength to keep me alive
After impossible goals, continue to strive
In essence I'm failing and fading to grey
But giving up's not a card I'm willing to play

So far the problems show no signs to cease
And I've seen friends falling upon their knees
Deeper inside me I'm feeling the fire
So I push back and struggle, raise the bar higher

Bring on the darkness, the shadows, the pain
I'll forsake them all and of familiarity refrain
Held safe from the past while the future surrounds
In anger and sorrow, I now refuse to drown

There's light ahead that few can struggle to see
And through great pain I'll drag them to it with me
At the end of the storm there's a wonderous sight
So perfect, such solace, no reasons left to fight

_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tenshi wrote:
I want to watch Pirates of the Carribean now... Mad

Your visual imagery is stunning.


How did you know there was a faint Pirates theme? Razz Thanks by the way...

Tenshi - you write FAST. You wrote two long ones today, right?
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll try and write some tomorrow, I feel weird just commenting and not contributing. And you do write fast Ten. And you write well for writing so fast. =)
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was younger, around 16, I could write poems that length all day long. Sometimes I would write three or more a day, discard those I didn't think were perfect, and lose the last one somewhere on my hard drive.

It was all practice. I've probably written something like 500 poems, I want to say. If I do write well, which I still struggle to believe, it's because I practiced it so much. Razz

Now if only I could have any skill at drawn art, I would be tickled pink! My hands shake something terrible some nights.
_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked


My poems at age 16 went something like this.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Oh crap, I've got gum on my shoe!
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 1:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOL!

No, when I was 16, I was busy schmoozing every woman I could find. I was a hardcore cheesy hopeless romantic. Poems are great for that, too.

Now I just write for the pleasure of writing, though. I've kind of sworn off relationships.

Moar poems!
_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton
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horsin'around



Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1260
Location: Stupidville

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sworn off relationships? Sounds refreshing. I haven't had a boyfriend since college.

More peoms? Easy for you to say, Mister-I-can-write-amazing-super-long-poems-like-fifty-times-a-flippin'-day.

Laughing
_________________
Fall down seven times, get up eight. --Japanese Proverb

If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponce
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 3:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Relationships spell trouble, mostly. The investment of time, energy, and resources for little return is frustrating on many, many levels. Of course, maybe I'm just burned from bad experiences. This should be moved to a new thread, though, or to PM. Razz

This be the poetry thread!

Only in sweet silence
Is our memory still alive
Ever mired in violence
A dark place I barely survive

I could forget you
But what fond thoughts would I keep
Or make this exile true
And in stained hands pray to weep


Erk, storm rolling in, best send what I've got and scoot on off. ¬_¬

Edit: Me 0 - BBCode 1. :\
_________________
. Dubbed "Usagi" by AsA .
Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
Red Skelton


Last edited by Tenshi on Wed Jun 11, 2008 3:21 am; edited 1 time in total
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3690
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*goes to dig up some of her old poetry*
My 16 year-old poetry had almost nothing to do with relationships. . .I'll go see what I can find. I never rhymed, but I tried to do syllables instead, I remember that. . .
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