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After the Fall of Rome

 
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theBSDude



Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 1800
Location: The boring part of Washington

PostPosted: Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:15 am    Post subject: After the Fall of Rome Reply with quote

I've been working on this book for a while now. I posted it here and here, in the Symbiosis and Unity contest. I've changed quite a bit, there aren't even zombies anymore, but Jak's still there (yes, her name's spelled different Razz).

Anyway, here's what I have. I hope the language doesn't bother anyone. It is censored, and it's not very strong, but I thought I'd better say something.


The alarm clock in Nana's head was ringing. Time to wake the house.

Nana's Mistress slept nearby, on the pink, once-fluffy bed meant for the little girl she'd been almost a decade ago. Her short, grease-spiked, and permanently blood-stained hair had dyed the center of the pillow a disgusting green-brown.

The pillow case needed a wash. So did the sheets. And Jak herself. No point washing the fabric if the girl was still grimy and bloodied.

The clock in Nana's head rang again.

She pulled on a blue-and-white vertical-striped blouse and a pair of navy blue pants; Nana supposed she could go one more day without fresh underwear.

Nana gently shook Jak's shoulder to wake her.

Jak roused slowly, in the grand tradition of teenagers. She looked up at Nana. “Wha? 'zit night a'ready?”

Nana nodded. “Mm-hmm.”

“Ah h***.” Jak curled into a ball to fit her head under the covers.

Nana nodded. It was Hell; had been for eight d***ed years. She remembered the bombs; the horrible, stale-tasting air her mask had fed her, sweet compared to the death she tasted without it, and soothing compared to the nanite cloud that stung her throat and nose. She remembered vomiting after leaving Jak in the safety of the bunker. First, from the smell; second, when she realized Master was never coming home. She would have stayed in the bathroom longer, hugging her knees to her chest and staring at the toilet, until the weight of her responsibility to Jak forced her back into motion.

Nana pulled back Jak's covers. The girl cringed, curling tighter. Nana pried Jak's arm away from her body and signed into her palm.

<Grow up. You don't even get cold.>

Jak groaned and pulled her hand away. “Fine, d***it! I'm getting up!”

The clock in Nana's head stopped ringing. The House was awake.


In case anyone is wondering, yes, Nana is an android. A robot, technically; she's not fully self-aware, and is mostly incapable of spoken language.
The nanite cloud affects only altered humans, which is why they didn't kill Nana.
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...In accordance with the prophesy.

TheBSDude, dubbed 'BS' by Asa and nicknamed 'Thebes.'
Keeper of the Tristam, The Amazing Non-Emo Vampire!(tm) and a Massive List of Webcomics.

"I'm like a ninja with no hopes or dreams." --Wally of Dilbert
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2141
Location: England

PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it, it reminds me very strongly of the short story, "There Will Come Soft Rains." Especially the last bit about the house being awake. Don't know whether that was intentional or not? Neat similarity anyway. Smile
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Never forget,
We stroll along the roof of hell
Gazing at flowers.
- Issa
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theBSDude



Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 1800
Location: The boring part of Washington

PostPosted: Fri Mar 06, 2009 5:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never heard of "There Will Come Soft Rains."

Just a random tidbit: Nana is named after the dog in Peter Pan. As a organic robot, her function is combination babysitter/guard; basically a human-shaped Saint Bernard.

EDIT: I read about "There Will Come Soft Rains", and yeah, it sounds kind of similar, but mostly opposite, because what Nana cares about most are the people.
_________________
...In accordance with the prophesy.

TheBSDude, dubbed 'BS' by Asa and nicknamed 'Thebes.'
Keeper of the Tristam, The Amazing Non-Emo Vampire!(tm) and a Massive List of Webcomics.

"I'm like a ninja with no hopes or dreams." --Wally of Dilbert
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theBSDude



Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 1800
Location: The boring part of Washington

PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2009 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am planning to continue this story; I might even get to the point where I can publish it (at least a little bit).

In lieu of more story, I've started on an About page. Here're the first two entries.


--The Bioweapon; “Dust, Dust mites”--

The virus is a solar-powered nanobot cloud. The individual nanites are heavier than air, propelled by electromagnetic quantum energy (abbr: EMQE, “emkey”; colloq: magic), kinetic type. When active, they seek body heat, light (or residual solar radiation), and quantum manipulation. The virus affects only humans altered with quantum-powered nanites, causing respiratory irritation (but no lasting harm) to androids or unenhanced humans.


--Robots; “Bots, Robbies”--

The evolution of robots has gone from mechanic, to electric, to organic. Modern robots are organic constructs, built on the genetic model of humans (artificially designed, copying human DNA). Token animal traits (such as animal-like ears or light fur) are common for house-hold bots, while practical enhancements (such as increased arm-size or lung-capacity) are common among industrial models.

Most are extremely intelligent (comparable to Nobel winners in raw processing speed), and rival professional athletes in physical performance (based on tests of balance, coordination, and reflexes). Their psychology and inter-personal relationships are similar to human, but they are not fully self-aware. There are many safe-guards in place to keep robots from harming humans, except in self-defense.

Robots are capable of biological reproduction (this feature is one of the primary reasons organic robots are superior to mechanic/electric models, second only to their ‘intuitive intelligence’—dealing with human interaction), but a human reproducing with a robot, while possible, is extremely ill-advised (physical and psychological health of the robot) and universally viewed as highly immoral.

Robots can, with careful treatment of exposure to EMQE, be made fully self-aware, making the jump to Android.
_________________
...In accordance with the prophesy.

TheBSDude, dubbed 'BS' by Asa and nicknamed 'Thebes.'
Keeper of the Tristam, The Amazing Non-Emo Vampire!(tm) and a Massive List of Webcomics.

"I'm like a ninja with no hopes or dreams." --Wally of Dilbert
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theBSDude



Joined: 09 Jul 2008
Posts: 1800
Location: The boring part of Washington

PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 2:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The saga continues online!!!!

Yeah... check out my deviantArt page: http://thebsdude.deviantart.com/

I've reached where no amount of editing will allow me to meet the all-age requirement of the forum. Still nothing beyond PG-13.

Yet. <_<
_________________
...In accordance with the prophesy.

TheBSDude, dubbed 'BS' by Asa and nicknamed 'Thebes.'
Keeper of the Tristam, The Amazing Non-Emo Vampire!(tm) and a Massive List of Webcomics.

"I'm like a ninja with no hopes or dreams." --Wally of Dilbert
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