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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3667
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm glad that you got to spend time with your family, Alli, and I know leaving them must be hard. Do you know when you'll get to come back for a visit?

Today I start back to school. Fall semester. It's going to be a tough semester (six classes, eep), but it should be fun. ^______^

Today it occurs to me that 16 weeks from now I will be halfway through with my degree. Where did the time go? o_o
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2126
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 8:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Tenshi: Yeah, it went fairly spectacularly. Sounded like someone had let a firework off in the next room.

And that was just with a 5A fuse in there. Plugs in this country come fitted with a 13A fuse by default. I shudder to think what that might have done before it blew.... >_<

#

Today discovered that my mother's birthday tea's being postponed to Saturday. I was planning to get a cake. Confused Not sure whether to get it now anyway. I mean -- what's a birthday without cake? The tribal cake-hunt followed by the war dance is the best thing about them.

You hand over a present and the odds are that the person isn't going to be that thrilled. Buying presents, especially for grownups, is difficult. If they wanted it that much they'd have bought it themselves already. And at best you introduce the chance for misunderstanding. All the odds are on a group loss of utility.

But you hand over cake, and everyone loves cake right? And singing happy birthday? Comradeship, happiness. Uh. Apart from diabetics I suppose. And Scrooge.

Presents make more sense in a world where people don't have the excess resources to just grasp what they want near enough immediately. But nowadays what would that translate into? Rarity alone does not equate with desirability.

I guess I just miss being a kid, where presents were small, you tore the paper off (which as we all know is the best bit of getting presents) and ran around in a sort of enhanced sugar-haze for hours. Where we were too poor to really have to worry about any of this stuff.

It seems the richer we've got the more intensely political the whole issue's become.

#

I don't think my father has much idea either - he's got her another laptop. She's already got a computer that she seems perfectly happy with. Just ... I do not get these people sometimes.

It's relatively easy to look forwards to your own birthday, I imagine, (personally I don't, recognising I probably won't get anything I want and it will lock us into another round of escalation) ... I guess the important point is: Do we actually look forwards to each others birthdays? Can you get some sort of resonance effect going?

Hnn. I don't know, people don't seem to be having any fun. There's got to be a way to get more fun out of it. And it's not going to be one of those find a perfect gift type things. That's not a permanent solution. You need something that changes the way people think about gift giving - something that ties it to the attitudes of the people involved with respect to each other again, rather than trying to find something that the other person wants.

:/
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
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Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's just the way YOU think about gift-giving, Nem. The point of giving presents is not instant gratification or escalation of showing off. The point is to prove that I care about you enough to know what you want and get it for you. Yes, okay, maybe you could have gotten it yourself, but now you don't have to. Granted, this is easier for some people than others. For example, it's incredibly easy to buy presents for my mother, because I know instantly whether she'd like this thing or another. I find it very difficult to shop for my dad, on the other hand, since he's not really into stuff. He more appreciates going out and doing things, and you can't really wrap that. Birthdays and other non-religious holidays seem to me to be about reinforcing the relationships between people. So if presents help bring two people closer together, good. If cake makes people feel better about each other, good. It doesn't always fit into a logical equation, that's not how human relationships work.
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Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2126
Location: England

PostPosted: Thu Aug 16, 2012 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We don't seem to disagree on any particular point of how things work, Asa. We mostly seem to differ in the range of potential gifts that we see. I find it hard to imagine that people want that much, or that, in wanting it they don't take it more or less immediately. By and large I become aware that people want things because they've just bought them. But, as you say, that's mostly a personal thing. ^^;

#

Today... was fairly okay. Father was giving one of his rants about life and how crap I am, during an advert, and managed to get my age wrong. "You're 24!" Wrong. Rolling Eyes
I wonder whether he realises how much credibility he costs himself whenever he tries to act as an authority.

On the plus-side, we had cupcakes and chicken pizza. So it all balances out I guess. Nom nom nom. ^_^
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
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Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 1:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nem, your family reminds me of a show on US television called "Malcolm in the Middle." ...for better or worse. >_>
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Tinu.



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 3667
Location: The land of dreams

PostPosted: Fri Aug 17, 2012 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today the first week of the semester is overwith. All of my classes look like fun! I'm not going to be doing as much paper writing as I thought, but I'm fairly sure all of my free time will be spent doing reading homework.

Today I've been doing the reading for Literary Criticism and I'm pretty sure that this class is going to turn my brain to mush.

Today I was selected to be a Junior Marshal. I have no idea what that is, really, except that I'm supposed to wear white and attend fancy events as a glorified usher. Still, it's nice to receive an invitation for something like that, seeing as I never accomplished anything at all in high school. ^______^
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2126
Location: England

PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah well, I suppose we're at least spared Malcolm's family's particular brand of chaos, Tenshi. =p

#

Today it continues to be boiling hot. -sticks to everything he touches-

In August for god's sake.

Today we got to use the traps I set up in my character's office in a roleplaying game. A gang came in and tried to hold the place up with handguns. XD

My character's a lawful-neutral monk running a private detective agency. Impressively paranoid. The front of his desk was basically one giant claymore/shotgun. Holding a guy up who can blow the rest of the room away by kicking a button on the floor ain't a bright idea – but it's the sort of thing you'll only try once.

It made me laugh. ^_^
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Tinalles
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Joined: 22 Mar 2008
Posts: 1630
Location: Grand Forks

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 4:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ahem. Today I break radio silence briefly. Hmm. Updates:

1) My grandmother's memorial service was in June, a few months after her passing. The edge was mostly off, and Uncle P. behaved himself during the ceremony, so mostly it was a pretty good little trip where I got to catch up with lots and lots of cousins and such. We went to Glenwood Springs, and swam in the sulfurous waters while ash rained from the sky.

2) On July 4th, Mom discovered that a lot of her jewelry was missing. Like, on the order of 20,000 dollars worth of jewelry. It turns out my sister sold it at pawn shops to support her pot habit. We got some of the more sentimental pieces back, but lots is just gone. Mom is pressing charges, so now my sister is in a group home while her case winds slowly through the legal system.

3) My brother A) ditched his loser girlfriend, B) moved in with Mom and Dad, C) paid off all his credit card debt with the bequest from Grandmother, and D) got a new job which more than doubles his former (terrible) salary.

Today I reflect that it has very much been a summer of ups and downs.
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Allicat



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 1352
Location: Land of the troll.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow Tin, that's a lot to deal with. I'm glad the memorial service went well as it could have, and that your brother seems to be sorting things out, but the news about your sister is traumatic. It's horrible to be betrayed by family like that. I probably can't help much, but do PM me if you need to talk, or vent, or distract yourself with awesome science.

Today I have cleaned my flat, tidied my room and done a load of laundry. We have plenty of food in so there's no need to go to the shop and there's not much I can do for work until someone answers the emails I've sent. And it's not even lunchtime yet! If it were a nicer day I would go for a walk or a swim, but it's just grey and muggy. What to do, what to do, what to do...
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
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Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, while my summer certainly didn't contain the ups and downs that Tin's did... I also didn't get as much done as I wanted. Two short papers and one long paper, but the most important paper didn't even get started. I did see friends and family, though, and bought dishes for the new apartment.

I hope that everyone who's been down (myself included) remembers that we're not alone, and to find something happy to think about. A minute of positive thinking can seriously lift your whole day. I'm sorry that that's the best I can do for everyone. I wish I could make everyone feel better all the time, but... yeah.

So! Positive thinking! Just said goodbye to my friend and her sister who came to visit for a few days. The sister is going to Israel for the year in a few weeks, and I'm very excited for her. I hope that we keep in touch, and she gains as much from her time there as I did.
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Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
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Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
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TheBritishInvasion



Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Posts: 1852
Location: The couch

PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 12:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry Tin, I hope you have more ups than downs.

Today I cleaned under my bed. For the first time. Ever. The dust. Oh good Lord the dust. I saw things under there. Things I didn't know could exist under the bed.
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2126
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 9:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today applying for more jobs.

Questions for graduate schemes are such nonsense.

As a manager you will be responsible for the direction, development and results of your team. Tell us about a time when you had your greatest success in building team spirit. What specific results did the team accomplish? (max 500 words)

And your brain's sitting there going 'Team spirit is a load of old hooey, a coverall term for a question you don't really understand how to write properly to do with internal group dynamics. The way you write it sounds like a cheer-leading squad, but people actually get along because of positive communication styles adapted to personal preferences, mutually reinforcing goals and things like that. Anyone pretending that they're in something because 'Yay team!' is either a simpleton, watching football, or a liar. When you actually break it down no one thing forms team spirit and to pretend that there's 'a time when you had your greatest success' demonstrates a clear misunderstanding of how people live and work together in a world of give and take.'

Give an example of. You know studies show those first-date style questions don't predict workplace success very well at all? What does predict workplace success, and very well, are questions based around skills. Here's a scenario, how would you respond? List five things that are important to.... And so on and so forth.
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Asa



Joined: 10 Apr 2008
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Location: Grammar Police HQ. Watch your language, I'm armed with the NYTimes Style Book AND Strunk and White!

PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 10:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nem, we all know you're smarter than the average bear, but you have to learn to talk to people on their level. Take a deep breath, bite the bullet, and give them what they want to hear. Translate the terms of the question into phrases you like.

"Building team spirit" = "getting people to work together" = figuring out how to approach each person and convincing them to be more productive.

Everything you wrote can be rephrased, you just have to sit down and do it. Getting a job means working with other people, not expecting others to conform to your thought patterns. You won't be able to find a job where you can think and say whatever you like, which means you need to learn how to compromise. It's tough, but I think you can handle it. ^_~


I, on the other hand, am packing. I should have started yesterday, but I underestimated how much would go into it. And I need to finish fixing a skirt. And I'm following up on furniture in Israel. And checking sources for my paper (supposedly. It's on my list, anyway). And taking care of my dad, who just got back from foot surgery. Lots and lots to do.
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Self-styled Forum Grandmother, because I hand out nicknames and hugs whether you want them or not. ^_^

Keeper of the Library and the Gateway to Haven

Nem: "It's the sort of face you just know is getting ready to poke you with something sharp."
BS: "...then insist you eat a brownie."
__________________
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Think but this and all is mended...
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
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Nem



Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Posts: 2126
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh you're probably right, Asa. It seems to me how much you can lever that stuff in depends how liberally you can get away with interpreting, 'a time.'

It still feels a bit deceitful. Like by presenting it as the answer to their question you're suggesting that it fits the pattern they seem to want; to tie actions in with results fairly directly, which isn't necessarily something you can meaningfully do like this. But it's true enough you can't have things all your own way - and as something to hang onto extreme forms of ethical feeling in this regard do seem to be rather expensive. ^^;

Thanks ^_^
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Tenshi



Joined: 18 Apr 2008
Posts: 2594
Location: Star Stuff

PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

@Tinman: It has been a year of ups and downs, but don't forget the ups. There are two sayings which I use to go through life, though they may not seem apt at first.

First, "Find something beautiful, every day." There is something enjoyable to be found, even in the worst days. Something pretty like a flower, something comfortable like thunderstorms, or something special like seeing a kid absently eating ice cream.. There is SOMETHING to be enjoyed, don't forget that.

Second, "This too shall pass." No matter how bad it gets, remember that today is just one day. It isn't permanent, it isn't going to drag forever. Likewise, though, for the peaks. You always must look ahead. The future is the only place we can see anything built, but today - the decisions we make today - makes that foundation.

@Nem: I'm beginning to wonder if this Philosophy class I'm taking this semester is going to shred what little faith in humanity I have left. ;p Seriously though, Asa has a point. Sometimes it's not actually about what they're asking. They aren't REALLY asking you about teamwork, they're asking if you speak their team language. As in, "can you repeat the company motto, and be the face of our organization to our customers?"

You're not supposed to think until AFTER they hire you.

@Britland: I found the laptop I had five years ago. Theoretically I could crack it open and fix it... If the insides aren't the dust version of Dagobah. >_> I know how you feel. Still, cleaning is good!

@Asa: Get your work done! -stern look- Also, I'm glad you had a chance to visit with people. By the by, did you happen to drive through WV this summer? I was on the interstate, and was passed by cars with two state license plates that.. Coulda been, when you mentioned driving through states and junk. (I've been pondering that for maybe a month). Also, Happy Birthday!

Today I put my son on an airplane by himself to fly back to Seattle, all the way across the country, to go back to his mum's house. Won't see him until December. Also, I have a feud/fight to break up in this writing group when I get home. As a moderator in the group, it's my job to make sure this incredibly tense situation doesn't blow up into a huge rift in the social group.

...there are days when I just don't want to leave the EH web page. >_> Lurker that I am.

Have a good day, everyone!
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Keeper of the Siderean Swords

"If by chance some day you're not feeling well, and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done, and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then my purpose as your clown has been fulfilled."
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